I Do Things So You Don’t Have To

I used to rock it, sometimes I’d roll it. I always knew what it was for. * Photo courtesy of Paste Magazine Big news! Led Zeppelin (minus John Bonham! John Bonham! John Henry Bonham!) are reuniting for a one-time concert at London’s O2 Arena. I shan’t be going. For you see, I saw Led Zeppelin [...]

I wanna be a nudist And live by the sea * Photo courtesy of Free Images I am not a nudist. But I’ve been on three nude beach adventures, twice at resorts in Jamaica and once at Haulover Beach in Miami. For me to be nude in public there must be a beach or pool [...]

A lump in my throat, the size of a boulder* Goiters! They’re not just for old ladies anymore. Actually goiters are pretty common, especially among women. I’ve been the proud owner of a goiter since I was about 26. At that time, I was diagnosed with Graves’ Disease, or hyperactive thyroid, which is characterized by [...]

Both sides were against me since the day I was born * OK, I’m not exactly a half-breed, but then neither is Cher, and she sang a song titled “Half-Breed” that made everyone think she was. A half-breed, that is. Apparently, “Half-Breed” (about a woman born to a Cherokee mother and a white father) was [...]

We’re so wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully pretty I am one of those crazy cat ladies. Luckily, I married someone who, while not a crazy cat man at the beginning, turned into one almost overnight. The reason for this transformation was Simone. Simone came to us in the fall of 1990, just 5 months after we [...]