I Do Things So You Don’t Have To

Okay, so no one’s answering, Well, can’t you just let it ring a little longer I’ll just sit tight, through the shadows of the night Let it ring for evermore. Now that the iPhone is here, I guess it’s too much to hope that phones will become obsolete. I was going to title this post [...]

I’m tired of magazines Sayin’ flat butts are the thing I have a big butt and I’m proud. Big butts have become all the rage, but I gotta brag: I was one of the first. I remember my mom telling me that “men like something to grab onto back there.” The weird part is that, [...]

Exciting news here at I Do Things! Ready? My blog has been nominated for a Blogger’s Choice Award in the categories of Best Humor Blog and Best Blog About Stuff. . . . (short pause to let exciting news sink in before revealing the disappointing truth) . . . OK, so I nominated my own [...]

Things are quite different And life ain’t the same Since I lost my tooth.* Things are quite different and my life ain’t the same since I lost my tooth. My life has improved 1000%. “Toothache” is such an inadequate way to describe the mind-numbing pain that can accompany a cracked tooth. A cracked tooth can [...]

That was how he liked to have his teeth pulled out He told us how he liked to feel it when it came out * I have perfect teeth. Let’s just get that out of the way. My visits to the dentist have always been uneventful and even sort of pleasant, as I quite enjoy [...]

Me and the farmer like brother, like sister Getting on like hand and blister I may hate fruit, but I love farmers markets. Especially when they happen to be set up next to a giant cheesecake store. Yesterday, my mom and I went to Eli’s Farmers Market in Portage Park, where I supported my local [...]